What is the most common response when people ask each other ‘how are you’? - I am fine!

Is it truly so or is it merely out of convenience that we say this? Do we even know the truth for ourselves? 

Life and the world around us constantly make demands from us. There are so many pressures acting on us from the inside (health, moods, hunger and sexuality) and the outside (environment, financial, social, work, family).  Sometimes we seem caught up in a multitude of roles and obligations devoting our time and resources, only to end up feeling frustrated, disillusioned and stressed.

I am not saying that we  should wear our problems on our sleeve,or wash our dirty linen in public. That would make one totally unpopular and people may even avoid us if we excessively mourn in public about our problems. Ella Wheeler Cox says beautifully in her poem ‘laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone’. 

It is not an insensitive world as some might conclude, where you have to package yourself as normal and in control to be with it. The truth is the world has enough sorrows of its own. Which means each of us have some challenges that we are struggling with, everyone's plate is pretty full. People may be sensitive and kind and even give a listening ear, or a helping hand. Yet,  there is only so much anybody can do.

I Am Fine - What Does It Truly Mean?

It is a tall statement & means:

• You are healthy - you look after yourself, you exercise and eat well

• You are emotionally stable - you are a happy, caring, and sensitive human being

• You think clearly - you don’t hold  unnecessary prejudices or biases

• You have financial freedom - your finances are managed well by you and you live with a sense of security about your finances

• You have healthy relationships - you enjoy a relatively good family and social life

Let us live our lives with dignity and discipline, functioning on obligatory duty, not the whims of the mind. So that we don’t put our health, family, finances,society, to risk, and burden others to bail us out. Let us mean it: I am Fine. It means that I have no holes in my bucket (actions that take me away from my goals).

About Author: Rajni Agarwal is a Psychotherapist & Mental Health Consultant. She has 20+ years of counseling experience with kids and adults. She practices non-directive, person-centered, psychoanalytic, holistic therapy.

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